Just this past week, I had flashbacks to times not too long ago when I was being useless.
What do I mean by that?
In other words, it refers to being involved in a situation in which I am talking to someone who *romantically* likes me and has given plenty of hints expressing that they like me, but I clearly missed those signs until much later, when I reflected on what happened, was confused for a minute, and then ultimately face-palmed. Sometimes, the feelings were not mutual but, for the most part, they were and I definitely beat myself over not noticing, let alone initiating anything at all.
Looking back, I cringe at myself, but at the same time, I find it very hilarious. I am willing to laugh at myself for being an awkward, oblivious bean. These moments have also taught me to be more aware of people, to pick up on the cues sooner than later, and perhaps initiate flirting back. Especially in this crazy world of technology, instant messaging, and social media, it makes the dating game (heck, even just simple flirting) all the more complicated.
I would like to share some anecdotes of when I was useless. I am by no means degrading myself, as I can kid with myself at my awkwardness and naiveté back then. I am sure you might have experienced something similar in your lives when it comes to romantic interests and dating, so here are mine for your entertainment. Enjoy! 🙂
PS I am female, and I identify as LGBT. I have useless stories which involve both sexes, but for the sake of this post, I will stick with girls I have encountered. I will do a non-LGBT one later!
The “Costco Cutie”
This one will be a short one, just because I did not directly interact with the person when this happened. It was back in October when I went to Costco to buy groceries and otherwise run errands for my family. I grabbed a shopping cart before going in, flashing my membership card just prior to entering the store’s grounds.
It was a matter of passing through the electronics section, with the fancy new iPhones and massive TV screens playing the latest DVD film, in order to head to the food section. At least at my nearest Costco, you also pass by the registers for checking out. It is a massive store, and I happened to go just at rush hour (i.e. 10 am on a weekday– go figure).
Just as I was about to round the corner away from the registers to the food section, I felt someone catch my eye. Peering around my shoulder, I saw a staff worker, a woman who was probably close to my age, maybe slightly younger. She was standing at a register that was fairly far from where I was positioned, but what surprised me was that she caught my eye from that far away.
Time seemed to slow as she continued to look at me from afar. At first, I thought she was just looking in my direction for something else, not me. But it was her gaze that followed me as I continued walking, and I started to feel a bit…strange. Certainly, it was not a coincidence by then.
She was pretty cute, with long, brown hair in a ponytail and a slightly waif-ish form. What really pinged my interest was that she was sporting a red flannel (Costco employees don’t have a required uniform to wear). Based on her look and attire, she most likely played for the “girl’s team,” if you know what I mean…
Problem was, I did nothing about the fact that this cute girl was checking me out. If anything, I low-key panicked by dropping my gaze and hurrying away as fast as I could. By the time I got my groceries and went to the registers, she was long gone.
Looking back, I kicked myself for not taking a second to detour and at least try to say “hi” to her. Even if it had been my imagination and she really wasn’t looking at me (or in that way), I could’ve had at least a piece of mind knowing just what that gaze was all about. I wasn’t even trying to look cute that day, so I have no idea why I would be considered worth being checked out.
Alas, I’ll probably never see her again, but I guess it has shown me that perhaps I don’t look that much like a goblin, and that I can be worthy of someone’s gaze. That I also shouldn’t be afraid to approach someone, in hopes of connecting with them…and maybe leading to something more.
Thanks for reading, and more stories to come soon!
— The Finicky Cynic
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