Adventures in Online Dating (Part 2)

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Source: Consumer Reports.

Hey, folks!

A year ago, I wrote a post about my thoughts online dating. I’d installed a couple of dating apps for the heck of it, only to delete them 48 hours later. I found it too superficial and a waste of time, and I was still stuck on the “old-fashioned” way of meeting people in real life, as opposed to virtually. For the rest of the year, I went out to meet people while still abroad in France, and while nothing came of it, I enjoyed the good times.

Now that I’m back in the US and working a lot more than I did abroad, I don’t have as much time or opportunity to go out and meet people. Let alone date. But I still wanted to get into the dating scene, so against my wishes from earlier in the year, I started online dating again in December. I’m using the new Facebook Dating app and Coffee Meets Bagel, and within a month of using them, I’ve actually gotten a few dates.

This is to say, though, I haven’t found someone I’ll be with yet. Guess I’m still testing the waters, as I’ve never really had prior experience in dating. It’s a learning curve for me, but all the same, it’s been an interesting and fun time. I’d like to recount the dates I’ve been on so far (names will be anonymous), and offer my thoughts on this 21st century phenomenon of “finding love” on the Internet. Here we go!

For part one, check it out here.

*PS* I identify as bisexual, and I’ve gone on dates with both guys and girls. Pronouns will be appropriately given in the stories I’ll tell down below. Thanks in advance!

1.. “H”

After a horrible date (which you can read about here), I was rather apprehensive about going on another date…let alone it being the following day! In any case, I went about it, and I actually found it pleasantly refreshing. I’d been messaging “H” for about a week before we made plans to meet up for lunch and coffee near her part of town. With that said, I headed out for the day and we met up around 13:00 for tacos.

“H” was around my age, and we actually had graduated in the same year at the same university for undergrad. Thing was, we hadn’t known each other back then, just because our school was so big– plus, we’d majored in different fields, so not many of our classes would’ve overlapped. In any case, it would be a new experience to test the waters with someone closer in age, as compared to others I’d dated before, who’d been either younger or older.

We happened to meet up right at the corner of the block where the restaurant was located. First impressions was that she was rather quirky, but cute, and willing to be open with trying the tacos and guacamole that we had for lunch (i.e. not a picky eater).

Our conversation was pleasant enough, as we slowly got to know each other. “H” is a Colorado native, but she has been living in LA since starting college (aka nearly 10 years). Has two jobs, and earns enough to be comfortable. Pretty introverted, but cheerful, and with somewhat nerdy tastes (e.g. Harry Potter, Marvel, etc.) that I found endearing. She reminded me of my friends, and I think they would’ve gotten along together very well.

We had coffee afterwards, and about three hours later, we ended the date. We made plans to go to a quirky museum that “H” had proposed, and after a hug, that was our first date. I honestly had an unsure idea of how I felt about her: she was a nice girl, but I also didn’t feel attracted to her. We did end up going on a second date to the museum and, while we had fun, I couldn’t see myself liking her in that way to want to keep going on dates. Sadly, we had a slow, mutual fade, but I think it’s all right. After all, she was just looking for “casual dating,” so no hard feelings, in that respect.

2. “L”

There isn’t much to this story, just because “L” flaked on me! We’d been chatting fairly consistently for about a week-and-a-half to two weeks, and we’d made plans to meet up for dinner. However, we kept having to reschedule, just because our work schedules never matched up. And after a while, I could sense that she was distancing herself a bit in our texts.

Any case, though, we finally made plans to get dinner on the Westside on a Tuesday evening; it would be a bit of a commute for me, but I didn’t mind as long as it was with good company. I braved the early-evening traffic, and I arrived on time for dinner at a ramen joint.

Now, I should’ve suspected that something was up, just because “L” didn’t respond to me when I messaged her that I was leaving from home (and “see you soon”). Even worse was that I waited in the restaurant for about 30 minutes before I gave up, ordered and had my food, and left. It was literally when I was getting dessert that she FINALLY messaged me to apologize that she’d “overslept.” Which was utter bullshit, and I was extremely pissed…so I ended up just cutting it off with her. I should’ve known, as she was 22 years old and sounded non-committal, anyway. At least the dessert I got cheered me up!

3. “K”

Likewise with “H,” “K” was around my age and had also gone to the same university as I had, graduating in the same year. She is also Taiwanese-American, like myself, and she sounded very enthusiastic while we texted and before we met up. We made plans to get dinner at a poke bar near the airport, and we met right on time (even a bit earlier) for the meal.

“K” seemed pretty nervous, and I think that manifested in our conversations: our talk felt like an interview, as she was asking me question after question about my life, my credentials, my goals in life, etc. And when I asked her about her job, she essentially was promoting herself: she works in the entertainment industry, and she name-dropped big-named companies that she’d worked with, as if trying to impress me. I also felt she dominated most of the conversation, as I didn’t talk as much as she did. She also was looking at the clock a lot, as if itching to go home, and we ended up finishing the date around 21:00.

Overall, it was a pleasant date, but I could tell that it wasn’t going to go anywhere. She was really invested in her work (with lots of hours put in), and a lot of other activities going on, to the point that she made it clear that she’s just “giving dating a try” (i.e. casual dating). It was another slow fade after that, but at least it was mutual.


…and that concludes my online dating stories (for now). As of a couple of weeks ago, I’ve gone on hiatus from any future dates, which I’ll give my reasons for in another post. But I can say that, even if none of the dates I’ve gone on have evolved into a relationship, I’ve gained some experience and, most importantly, an idea of how dating in the 21st century works. Perhaps I’ll get back to it some day, but until then, I have these stories to look back on!

Thanks for reading, and until later!


— The Finicky Cynic

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