Just a couple of days ago, I found this Q&A-esque post in The New York Times, and I was inspired to answer the questions. Especially when it comes to the dating scene and finding love in life, it can be difficult to get past those first-date jitters and sparking a good conversation that will, hopefully, lead to another date and perhaps a relationship.
My current dating life is pretty-much nonexistent, and my exposure to dating has been minimal, in general. I’m choosing to answer these questions, because it can be a fun way for people whom don’t actually know me in real life to get an idea of what others can look for in their potential partner, in terms of similar answers and interests. Plus, I enjoy filling out these sort of Q&A posts, so I hope you enjoy! Let’s get started!
The 36 Questions that Lead to Love
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
There are so many people whom I’d love to dine with, but going off the top of my head, I’d say my friend “N” is a good one. We met when we worked abroad in France, and we haven’t seen each other in-person for over two years. She’s a remarkable woman who’s traveled and seen so much of the world, as well as having plenty of insightful thoughts and life experiences in her nearly-30 years on this earth. Would be nice to catch up and pick each other’s brains on travel, work, and life overall!
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
I think it’s nice to be recognized for your talents (and not for notoriety). For me, I’d like to be recognized for my writing, but also maintain a level of anonymity that many celebrities unfortunately do not get. Especially in this day and age of hard-core fan bases and paparazzi going to celebrity homes for a glimpse of the stars themselves.
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
Yes, but it depends on which languages I’m speaking: if it’s English (my native language), then I just quickly run through the general idea of what I’ll say. If it’s French or Chinese, I definitely need to think about it, even writing a few phrases down to remember. Part of this is due to anxiety of speaking over the phone, and part due to language fluency.
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
Sleeping a proper 10-12 hours, an hour’s exercise after waking up, a delicious lunch (at home or out) with a nice glass of wine, blogging and watching YouTube travel videos in the afternoon, dinner out in town, and in bed by 21:30.
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
I last sang to myself just a few minutes ago! But I’m tone deaf and I don’t sing to people at all (to avoid embarrassment!).
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
I would prefer to retain the body of a 30-year-old and keep my 90-year-old brain: I love to travel, and doing so requires a lot of energy, which makes having a 30-year-old body important to have. Yet, having a 90-year-old mind is advantageous, as it has stored so many life experiences and knowledge that can be applied while traveling and doing so much in the world.
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
Nope, nor do I want to!
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Honestly, independence, and sarcastic humor.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
A supportive family who wants me to be happy in life.
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Getting real-life experience at a young age, whether it was getting a part-time job, taking tax and bill courses at a community college…anything besides just studying for college.
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
Born and raised in Los Angeles, spent several years in France, traveled extensively since childhood and even more so as a young adult…love the French language and meeting adventurous people, massive introvert, but cares about people even if I don’t show it… (definitely not four-minutes long, but you get the point!).
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
The ability to acquire any hard skill for getting any job in the future.
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
I’d like to know if I will live a fulfilling life, with quality over quantity in my experiences.
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
Monetizing my writing, whether it’s building a blogging business or publishing my works at a publishing house. Much of it is due to risk of losing money, and it being a risky venture itself. Of course, I’ll have to eventually kick myself in the butt and go for it some day!
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
Spending four years abroad in France and traveling solo throughout Europe!
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
Unconditional loyalty: even after years of not seeing each other, we’re able to meet up again and pick up on our lives as if no time has passed.
17. What is your most treasured memory?
Traveling in my early-mid twenties.
18. What is your most terrible memory?
Wasting half of my college years in a major that I didn’t actually like.
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
Definitely. I would spend each day until I die on something I’d never dare to do if I had decades to live, e.g. visiting far-out countries, learning how to zip-line, being honest (even blunt) with the people I care about…
20. What does friendship mean to you?
Light-heartedness, good humor, unconditional.
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Still something I’m working on!
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
Independent, ambitious, sarcastic, bashful, honest.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
I’d say I’m pretty close with my family. Despite some communication problems and generation gaps in values and opinions, I’d say that my parents did a good job of raising me and my sister, and our childhood was happy, for the most part.
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Pretty solid. While we don’t always see eye-to-eye on certain issues, we get along and I appreciate her company.
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …”
“We are strong-headed, but willing to meet in the middle.”
“We love to travel.”
“We are guilty fans of overpriced Starbucks drinks.”
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”
“I wish I had someone with whom I could share my love for going deep on conversations during the first date.”
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
I need space often, as a huge introvert. Don’t take my quietness as resentment: I simply need to recharge on my own.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
I wish you could just tell me how you feel at times, because it’s a guessing game to know whether you’re okay or not. Tell me when I hurt your feelings, and I’ll learn from it.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
I once had to do a presentation in front of a small group of people, and I forgot my name.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
A couple of days ago.
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
Your ambition to be a good person and succeed in life.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
Shootings in the United States. Touchy subject out there nowadays.
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
I would regret not telling my romantic interests that I had feelings for them. Never told them due to fear of rejection.
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
My childhood teddy bear. It’s the oldest item I’ve owned, and it has been with me throughout my life, comforting me during troubled times.
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Either of my parents, considering that they’re in pretty-good health and they’ve always supported me in my life.
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
I’m in the process of finding a job AND making a career change. Really struggling to find legitimate positions that I would consider a good fit for my personality. If you were me, how would you go about finding jobs effectively, let alone knowing that they’d work out for you?
Thanks for reading, and feel free to answer these questions yourselves. Have a good day!
— The Finicky Cynic
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